You get what you advertise for

When I wrote my post titled, "Our friends in the gold wrappers", talking about professional athletes fathering multiple children outside of wedlock, I got several comments from people saying it was the women's fault; that these women are gold-diggers just using these men for their money and their status. And in many cases this is true. But my argument is that these men bring that on themselves by their own behavior.

Now before you men get all mad at me, hear me out. All I'm saying is that whatever you advertise for is what you get. Our society as a whole, women included, worships money. So you cannot walk around dripping in diamonds, sporting Louis Vuitton sneakers and Gucci sunglasses, driving a Bentley, and then expect people to deal with you strictly on the merit of your character. That's like a woman walking around in a dress with her butt and boobs hanging out, and then getting mad at men for not caring about the complexities of what's going on in her pretty little head, and instead just wanting to "hit it". Neither makes much sense.

If these men are going to flaunt their millions, which they have every right to do, they need to at least be perceptive enough, and willing, to separate those that care about them from those that care about their money. And if they want to sleep with beautiful women because their status affords them those opportunities, cool. But in that case, they know what she's there for and there is no way they should get tricked or trapped by her.

That leads me to my next point: these men use their money and status to get women. Duh, of course they do. But what I'm saying is, if they approach a woman like she should sleep with them because of who they are, and she does, then they know exactly why she slept with them! And you would be surprised how unashamed these men are in terms of soliciting women.

One certain NBA All-Star came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, said "that one", and walked away, only to have one of his male groupies run up behind him and inform me that said player wanted my number. When I didn't give it to him (because the method was totally disrespectful), he looked at me like I had just grown a third eye. I'm assuming this scenario had happened many times before and rarely with the answer "no" following.

Another player - gotta love the NBA - approached me, told me I was beautiful, and after a short conversation asked if he could take me to lunch. I was impressed because it was different than the way other athletes had approached me, so I said, "sure, lunch would be cool", and gave him my number. Within an hour he was texting me, telling me where his room was and suggesting we could "chill" there later. Funny how fast he went from, "lets do lunch" to "I got a room at such-and-such hotel"; and best believe I called him out on it. Lol.

I could tell stories like these all day. The point is that these men use their status to get trifling women to sleep with them, and the women that won't sleep with them simply because of who they are, they want nothing to do with. So sorry if I don't feel bad for the ones that this behavior turns around and bites in the butt. Yes there are instances where the woman is thought to be trustworthy and proven to be otherwise. But this happens far less than we, as the male athlete loving population, would like to believe.

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Comments (96)

speedwell said May 06, 2009

men are dogs, woof.
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hockeychick23 said May 06, 2009

and this is why i don't date athletes. lol.
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- 20dawk4life replied May 06, 2009
  
  im sure this is why
  - hockeychick23 replied May 06, 2009
    
    you should meet some hockey players. worse of the worse.
    - Sumit replied May 07, 2009
      
      Pffft, Software Engineers in San Francisco, we're the Kings of Jackasses.
    - Sumit replied May 07, 2009
      
      Watch out!
AlanaG said May 06, 2009

PREACH Chantelle!!!
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- Luuuc_ replied May 06, 2009
  
  Yeah, it is pretty much that simple. Chantelle breaks it down with common sense as usual.
  I have little sympathy for people on either side of this equation when they get burned.
Shanelle626 said May 06, 2009

I agree, if a man's pick-up approach hinges on flaunting (or downright stating) how much money he is worth, he cannot then be surprised when gold diggers and baby-momma-hopefuls come fluttering. It's not just athletes though, I've been around high level executives who feel the same sense of entitlement and expect women to drop their panties as soon as they see the business card. Some of these men have been married (and divorced) multiple times yet always seem surprised to learn their wife only wanted them for the money. Well, when your main objective in finding a mate is ensuring she's adequate arm-candy then can you really be amazed to find out your trophy wife doesn't love you for you? It's counter-intuitive, you can't expect to find a women that doesn't want you for your money when you're dripping in diamonds and sending boys from your entourage to go holla at chicks for you. Quality women never want to feel like they've been bought.
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- AlanaG replied May 06, 2009
  
  Ok, but truth be told, I WOULD drop my panties for a guy who handed me one of these business cards.
  - Shanelle626 replied May 06, 2009
    
    Well of course, you gotta have exceptions. I mean, that's just delicious advertising. =)
- nidelup replied May 09, 2009
  
  Yeah all men are really dumb, ignorant assholes. Right? Dogs, worse of the worse, jackasses. Yeah keep up the man hating and male bashing, but meanwhile demand respect for all woman athletes.
  - Shanelle626 replied May 10, 2009
    
    You obviously didn't read my comment thoroughly. I never said anything about ALL men. I commented on a pick-up approach that emphasizes monetary worth. I'm speaking about a specific approach; YOU'RE applying it to ALL men. And I stand by my point, if a man makes his money the focus of his appeal then he can't be surprised when he's the target of gold-diggers. Just like the woman that goes to the club damn near naked shouldn't act offended when she's the target of unwelcome sexual advances. You attract what you advertise for and it applies to both sexes. Don't misconstrue my comment to be more general than what I've written.
mkrobcom said May 06, 2009

I'm speechless, I couldn't agree with you more, that's all I can say!!!
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pilight said May 06, 2009

It's easy to see why these guys have no respect for women. The ones they encounter don't give them any reason to. --- Sure, both the men and women involved should know what they're getting into. However, neither athletes nor groupies are generally known for their intellect (present company excluded, of course).
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- Chantelle7 replied May 06, 2009
  
  exactly. although i think many athletes are smarter than people give them credit for. we either never had to apply ourselves in school because we weren't made to (although i've always been in honors classes, many people would be surprised to learn that after i signed my scholarship to vanderbilt i almost flunked out of high school bc i knew i could get away with it), or we learn a different way that isn't necessarily shown in papers and tests. there is nothing simple about a football playbook, or remembering everything you have to do on the court, or executing while you're exhausted. all of those things are a different type of intelligence that we athletes are not given credit for.
petrel said May 06, 2009

It's a pity that names can't be named, so that there can be public shaming. Then again, these captains of talent should know from their court experience - there's only one "greatest player" in the world at any one time and on any given night, you can run into someone who's better than you at playing the game - whether it be the game of basketball or some other more social game. (That's why so many of these players end up with empty pockets.) I suspect that Shoulder Tapper and Let's Do Lunch will find out how good they are at "The Game" soon enough.
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- Chantelle7 replied May 06, 2009
  
  haha i would never name names. not my style. and you really can't blame these men because it's society and the women that allow them to act this way. i don't think either of the guys i mentioned are really "bad guys". but if you step to 50 women with the same lines and 45 of them are willing to sleep with you, wouldn't most men do it? with this post i'm just saying that i don't feel sorry for them when they get played by their own game.
  - QMcCall3 replied May 06, 2009
    
    Chantelle, you are a very gracious individual for not labeling these individuals as "bad"...can we perhaps compromise and label them "misguided"?
    But seriously, I think there's a tendency to dismiss this type of behavior by saying "boys will be boys" and as long as women are putting themselves out there we should not expect more. I suppose I would disagree -- at some point, we need to hold our men to higher standards and communicate to the boys that being a man includes respecting women as human beings... but trust, I hear the point you're trying to make in this post...I just won't be mad if you take it a step further
    P.S. I want names too! ;)
    - nidelup replied May 09, 2009
      
      Do you think men deserve respect as human beings also? Because there certainly isn't any of it on this thread. Just endless put downs and insulting of men.
mickie_1 said May 06, 2009

Hey Chantelle, you are not afraid to tackle some slightly touchy topics, but I think, once again you have done an outstanding job of hitting both sides of the question. And once again the writing is superb.

I have to wonder how much these guys who are willing to buy relationships actual value themselves. They seem to be selling themselves cheap.

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- nidelup replied May 07, 2009
  
  I think it's the women who are "selling themselves cheap."
Spotella said May 06, 2009

Chantelle, I totally agree with you here and I've got to say of all the athletes blogs that I read, yours are always my favorites. You speak your mind, and I think that's great. Please continue!!!
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HeartofBosh said May 06, 2009

Just hand men the link to this blog, Chantelle. Then, if they still want to deal with you, you know they're worthy.
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- AlanaG replied May 06, 2009
  
  Hahaha excellent idea!
- Chantelle7 replied May 06, 2009
  
  lol. i know right. oh trust me, if i was worried about offending male athletes i wouldn't be writing this stuff. but you're right. the good ones will know i'm not talking about them and have nothing to be offended about!
  - nidelup replied May 07, 2009
    
    You're not "worried about offending male athletes" but you don't want men to say anything offensive about female athletes? "the good ones will know i'm not talking about them and have nothing to be offended about!" Yeah, just like men should feel free to refer to women as b!tches and hoes, because the good ones will know men are not talking about them and have nothing to be offended about, right? It's amazing how someone who is so quick to take offense at any discussion of the sexual behavior of female athletes, feels perfectly free to discuss and condemn the sexual behavior of male athletes.
    - mklitt replied May 07, 2009
      
      Why, under any circumstance, would it be OK to call women "bitches and hoes?" We are discussing some male athletes who are dismissive of women because they use them and then are surprised to be used back.
      
      Chantelle states that in her experience, the men who do not see women as objects, but as individuals, are also reasoned enough not to take offence when a condemnatory story does not apply to them. I expect that is because they see themselves as they see others, as individuals.
      
      Chantelle is calling some women out here, and maybe some are women athletes. That is not part of the story, so we don't know. As a reader of her work, I know she is very candid about her peers and can be critical. But it is on an entirely different level than the name calling you suggest she objects to. I object. And I hope you would object too.
    - Chantelle7 replied May 07, 2009
      
      i never said it was wrong to say anything offensive about female athletes. as i have said in other posts, what offends me is when people say all female athletes are a certain way. i don't have a problem with people stating their opinions. but i do have a problem with people calling their opinions fact when they're clearly not. and don't make the mistake of assuming certain things will offend me. if a woman is acting like a ho or a bitch and you feel the need to say so then fine, as long as her behavior warrants that title. at the same time, i would hope that you would have enough respect for yourself not to use that language...but hey, to each his own.
    - Chantelle7 replied May 07, 2009
      
      and also, if you started talking about ho's and bitches then i would immediately know you're not talking about me, because my behavior doesn't put me in either of those categories. but if you said all women are ho's and bitches, then it would be offensive. see the difference?
Beautifuleyes said May 06, 2009

Chantell , did you just get married?
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- Chantelle7 replied May 06, 2009
  
  um, no. why do you ask?
Beautifuleyes said May 06, 2009

Some one thought it was you that recently got married.
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OneBigOrooni said May 06, 2009

Yeah, I have this problem with women all the time. :-|
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Beautifuleyes said May 06, 2009

Sorry about that!!!!!
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slappyjoe said May 06, 2009

Most entertaining blog on YardBarker. Thanks Chantelle. Refreshing stuff.
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Zukny1 said May 06, 2009

A real man doesnt need money just to get a hot chick.
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- youknowwho replied May 06, 2009
  
  and no man needs money to get a "chick" pregnant ;)
youknowwho said May 06, 2009

well written with some great points.....in thinking of the children (some unwanted no doubt-and who suffer unfortunately)....the men could also wear condoms if they know these women are only sleeping with them for who they are.....guys cant play dumb that some women won't try to get pregnant on purpose...that happens to men of all classes lol not just rich ones or famous ones...some women are just messed up...then again, so are some men. Such is humanity...sigh.
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- Luuuc_ replied May 07, 2009
  
  They should be wearing a condom even if they are NOT thinking of the children. If someone sleeps with you that quickly then you're a fool to believe they haven't slept with a bunch of others just as easily. If someone it prepared to not use a condom with you then you're a fool to believe they haven't gone unprotected with others. So for disease reasons alone it's hard to believe that they wouldn't protect themselves, let alone for the pregnancy risk as well. That goes for both the guy and the girl.
  - AlanaG replied May 07, 2009
    
    Thank you Luuuc!!!! I don't understand how all this sex without condoms happens all the time. How stupid are people? It's dangerous out there!
    - sambot replied May 10, 2009
      
      i once had a roommate dumb enough to believe that thinking good thoughts would be enough to keep her from getting pregnant. she also used this logic in regards to spaying her pets. i hope she figured it out by the 2nd little of cats.
    - sambot replied May 10, 2009
      
      and the above is mostly for the folks who end up with unwilling babydaddies, but people can be that stupid about diseases too.
Yuri28 said May 07, 2009

I totally agree with you, you get what you advertise, but it seems like your justifying the shady actions of trifling women. I’m sure trifling women everywhere are probably staring at their screens right now, saying “Amen, Chantelle, he shouldn’t be showing it off if he didn’t want me to use him”!! So you think that just b/c a guy lacks confidence and has to flaunt his wealth in order to get a woman to sleep with him, now means that he deserves to be used by her? So does that also mean that because a woman fails to recognize her worth and thereby equates her value with the amount of money and/or material things a man gives her, that she deserves to have him use her (i.e. hit it and quit it)? I doubt you’d feel that way if it were the other way around. It’s such a double standard, if a man is used, somehow he deserves it b/c he brought it on himself. But when the same thing happens to a woman, it somehow turns into a crime against humanity.

………….The nerve of that guy. He tapped you on the shoulder; I’m appalled! . Lol. Maybe you should avoid athletes, try the medical field, a nice young doctor, perhaps. Let him take you out to lunch, I’m sure you’d enjoy it. ?

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- Chantelle7 replied May 07, 2009
  
  you're wrong in saying that i don't feel the same should the situations be reversed bc actually i do. when someone shows you who they are, believe them. if a woman is triflin enough to sleep with you just because of who you are then you shouldn't be surprised when she does other shady stuff like use you for your money or get pregnant on purpose. same with women. if you're wearing a prostitutes uniform, i.e. all your goodies hanging out all over the place, and a man steps to you real aggressively, and you really believe that he cares about your hopes and dreams of a husband and 2 kids, then yes, you are being dumb and deserve whatever comes after. we as men and women have to be smarter! i am well aware of the double standard that exists but usually it's the women who are the victims of it and not the men. aaaaannnnnddd...i've never dated a doctor before but i don't discriminate. i would. it's not like i only date athletes, but thats just who seems to approach me the most with the right qualifications.
  - Yuri28 replied May 07, 2009
    
    Never? What a shame. They're reeeeeeally nice guys. Don't wear stethoscopes’ to the club, or make it rain pages from their prescription pads.
- 1way2play replied May 07, 2009
  
  I actually do think that they both deserve to get used if thats where their mentality is. Sorry pretty girl with the gold digger intentions that lets me hit it so fast, but u will never be my wife or get more than dinner and a movie,,,And to the celebrity male this has been going on for soooo long u gotta be smarter than dat. U dont gotta be married but use a condom (u should anyway) and get to know a girl inside and out before u trust her that much...I mean what is she doing for herself?
- mklitt replied May 07, 2009
  
  Yes, there are so many NBA players lacking in confidence and compensating by flaunting their wealth. It is an epidemic I think.
  
  Basically she is advocating knowing who you are dealing with -- never bad advice and especially good when people are going to lknow you first for things like your status and your wealth. It is hard to know why you are liked and doubly difficult if you treat everyone as if they should cater to whatever you ask.
  
  As to suggesting doctors, I have to say some of them come off as being the NBA players of the medical world. :)
  - Yuri28 replied May 07, 2009
    
    That's possible.
  - nidelup replied May 09, 2009
    
    I think Chantelle would object to your stereotyping NBA players, since she objects to stereotyping WNBA players.
- jasminefaronbi replied May 11, 2009
  
  "trifling women staring at their screens rite now saying AMEN" LMAO....im stil on da ground crying rite now
1way2play said May 07, 2009

Yo u be kickin the 100% truth on these blogs and u always put urself in the other persons shoes too. I as a man am so careful about the women I choose that it is ridiculous to some of my friends and I am no where close to being rich (yet). I just have seen so many girls in my neighborhood growing up that go for the hood rich hustlers and then wonder why they end up single mothers. I also know a lot of guys who put on a false sense of being a baller to trick girls, so that fakeness goes both ways!!! I guess when yall say all the good men are taken, there are a lot of men who feel like all the good women are taken...maybe u can introduce me to one someday lol.....love ur blogs U R the S**t. oh yeah do u think that having friends of the opposite sex can help u sort thru the bullcrap? I honestly think so because my no good dude radar is on 100 (which can only help female friends and does me no good) but it takes me a while to screen a girl
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Windy12 said May 07, 2009

Interesting piece as usual Chantelle, most of those women would be slightly low IQ who use their physical attributes to get everything they want, if those looks leave them lose everything equally as quick, it goes on, no doubt.

But what about the other way around, attractive wealthy women using the sports stars for their own pleasure, but having as little care for them as an object? This happens a lot in the area where I used to live, a little bit like the older women of Rome and the gladiators, I do not know if you have heard of this Roman history but the wealthy ladies of Rome used to pay to be allowed to mate with gladiators (putting it politely).

Who can blame sports stars for beomning callous when women tick them off as an experience before they find someone they really want, it must break a lot of sports stars hearts? Used the same way some attractive black men are ticked off the list by attractive white women.

The sad fact is that sports stars are meat to most people, the way some stars behave it is understandable, personally I cannot stand a brainless woman their looks vanish when they speak, with some women bedding brainless men it must be a reproductive thing.
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narrabeen23 said May 07, 2009

i swear Ive heard those first two paragraphs somewhere else...oh yeh, it was a dave chappelle stand up rountine.

"Just because Im dressed this way, does NOT make me a ho!"

"Ok fine, you are not a ho...but you are wearing a ho's uniform!" lol

You're right tho chantelle, it works both ways.

I just find it funny how it tends to be an upbringing thing tho. Generally speaking, families with money teach their kids not to flaunt their wealth and families that don't have money almost never teach their kids how to handle themselves if/when they come into a lot of money.

Case in point, I have a friend who i went to college with who i honestly didnt now came from a wealthy family until i was invited to his house. It was insane how wealthy this family was but you would have never known it by looking at my friend. His clothes weren't overly expensive, he didnt drive a nice car, he was very humble. Then I had another friend who constantly talked about how bad he had it at home and how poor he was. Then when he got his first job he immediately told me that he was making 75K a year and the first thing he did was go out and buy a BMW 3-series. 5 years later, he is in a ton of financial trouble cuz he spent money he didnt have while my other friend is very successful. but again, by looking at both of them you would think the 2nd guy is more wealthy than the 1st guy.

Its all about how you are raised, i think. Culture might have something to do with it too but its mainly your parents and your upbringing. Rules to live by: 1. Live a humble life and only buy things that you need or can afford. 2. Always remember where you came from and dont forget to give back.
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- Chantelle7 replied May 07, 2009
  
  haha. never saw that chappelle stand up but i bet it was funny.
ERupert said May 07, 2009

I think it is a two-way street. Guys who chase down women and use their money to get into bed with them are not excused from being responsible for the resulting children(neither is the lady). Athletes in this society are treated as royality; they're allowed to plow through life doing whatever they choose, and are not often taught much about moral behavior. The media and the rest of us adore this stuff, and we only complain when said primadonnas run afoul of moral behavior, which they know little about bcause in the quest for fame and money, they skipped that course.
Read: Books by Everett E. Rupert at your bookstore now!
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rk88bulldog said May 07, 2009

I feel you, but it seems as if you play both sides on the status issue. Let me explain. I know you are probably not trying to trap anyone, but I remember reading somewhere in the "yard" that you sometimes use your status as an athlete to attract cute guys. If that's the case, how can you talk about these NBA guys doing the same thing to you. I am sure you didn't use the same exact method they used, but you did allow your status as an athelete to facilitate the connection. I am not trying to call you out, but it seems like the pot calling the kettle black. BTW, what happened with the NBA guy that you called out with the smooth pick up that deteriorated into here' s my room number? Did it stop there?
Off topic: http://www.yardbarker.com/college_basketball_w/articles/WOMENS_HOOP_KNOWLEDGE_High_School_to_Pro/620465
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- Yuri28 replied May 07, 2009
  
  LOL! MY POINT EXACTLY!!!! There's obviously a double standard.......
- Chantelle7 replied May 07, 2009
  
  my "status" as an athlete puts me in positions to meet certain people that others might have to work a lot harder to meet. thats a given bc of the circles we exist in and appearances we might do for our jobs. but i never approach and treat people like they should be interested in me bc i'm an athlete or with the attitude of, "do you know who i am?" that's the difference right there. now if some people want to date me because i'm an athlete then that's on them. but it has nothing to do with me approaching them or presenting myself as anything more than an attractive and confident woman. if fact, i hate when guys make a big deal out of me playing ball and usually don't pay them any attention. i want someone who thinks what i do is cool but really doesn't trip off of it. that way i know they're more likely to be interested in me for me. these male athletes don't think like that bc they're to busy chasing p***y.
  - Windy12 replied May 07, 2009
    
    You have a bit of fire within you Chantelle!! He has a point though, do your potential boyfriends like Chantelle the person or Chantelle the athlete?? Is a celeb/athlete girlfriend a bit of a trophy too? Some men get hung up on female gymnasts, personally I never had use for someone that flexy, do others get hung up on female basket ball players?? I think Venus Williams is a stunning women in a dress off the court, on the court she is a sportsperson sweaty and grunting not at her most sexually appealing, still each to their own!! Since I know nothing about basketball or who you were/are I personally like Chantelle the writer!!
    Spirited writing!!
    - Chantelle7 replied May 07, 2009
      
      haha well thank you! and yes, the people that i date like me for who i am (or do a wonderful job faking it). the fact is it's not that hard to determine someone's true intentions. it just takes a little effort and time. i am willing to put that in to make sure people are who i think they are, but some people aren't. people will always reveal their true colors. there are definitely some male pro athletes that are what i call wnba groupies. i know of a few that have messed with several girls in the league. so in that way, i guess it is kind of a trophy. haha
  - Windy12 replied May 07, 2009
    
    You have a bit of fire within you Chantelle!! He has a point though, do your potential boyfriends like Chantelle the person or Chantelle the athlete?? Is a celeb/athlete girlfriend a bit of a trophy too? Some men get hung up on female gymnasts, personally I never had use for someone that flexy, do others get hung up on female basket ball players?? I think Venus Williams is a stunning women in a dress off the court, on the court she is a sportsperson sweaty and grunting not at her most sexually appealing, still each to their own!! Since I know nothing about basketball or who you were/are I personally like Chantelle the writer!!
    Spirited writing!!
  - nidelup replied May 08, 2009
    
    To clarify, when you say "these male athletes don't think like that bc they're to busy chasing p***y", you didn't mean to stereotype all male athletes did you? Because I know how you object to stereotyping all female athletes for their sexual behavior. But lets see, so lets say you're condemning "some" male athletes because they "don't think" like you. You object to their "chasing "p". Again we get the condemnation of the sexual behavior of male athletes from someone who strenuously objects to even mentioning the sexual behavior of female athletes. And what does it mean to chase p***y? Does it mean to want to have sex with as many beautiful women as you can? As long as they're consenting adults, why would that be wrong? Is it wrong for a lesbian to desire sex with beautiful women? Is it wrong for gay men to desire sex with good looking men? I'm sure you would say that as long as they're with other consenting adults no one should condemn them. But straight men are attacked for their sexual desires.
    
    A show that I've heard is quite popular among WNBA players is The L Word. (that's what i heard, you can say if it's true or not) Anyway the main character, called Shane, is an inveterate "p***y chaser". But oddly, instead of being condemned for it, she's hugely popular with the women who watch the show, both straight and lesbian. And why not? She's sexually attracted to women, so naturally, she wants to sleep with as many beautiful women as she can. There's nothing wrong with that is there? Unless you're a "male athlete." Just curious, do you also condemn gay men who "chase d**k"?
    - Windy12 replied May 08, 2009
      
      I do not think she is condemning anyone, just saying you get back what you give out? So do not be surprised by it? Unless I am reading it wrongly? She mentioned 'some' players who approach many of the WNBA women, she knows because I presume the others talk.
      
      Good discussion though!!
      
      PS Chantelle, in England I would not say you 'play ball' the guy will be calling a taxi pronto!!
    - Chantelle7 replied May 10, 2009
      
      nidelup - if i would've meant all male athletes i would have said "male athletes". the fact that i said "these male athletes" shows i was not referring to male athletes as an entire group but just selected ones, or more specifically, those that fit the characteristics i was discussing. i'm not condemning all male athletes. i'm just stating my opinion on behaviors that are reckless and stupid (due to health issues, children's well-being, and money being at stake). if you read back over everything i've said, i've never said i have a problem with the promiscuity of some male athletes. i actually said the opposite which is that if i was a male athlete i'd probably be a ho too! all i argue is that these men should have safe sex and realize what kind of women they are messing with! if that makes me wrong then i'll be wrong. its just sad that everyone wants to talk about sex but as soon as someone starts talking about condoms, they are mad at/condemning all men. that mindset is exactly why so many people are dying from hiv/aids.
six8pwrhouse said May 07, 2009

lol....that one huh...LMAO....that's has be so righteous....
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- pilight replied May 07, 2009
  
  Perhaps Chan will think less of me for it, but yeah, if I could do that successfully I'm sure I would try it at least once. --- On a more serious note, something else to consider is that the majority of these athletes are in their late teens and early 20s. Few people in that age group (athletes or not, wealthy or not) think much about the long term implications of their actions. It's not until you're a few years older that "what happens next?" enters the thought process.
  - Windy12 replied May 07, 2009
    
    Good point!!
eharper said May 07, 2009

preach on, girl! Great post and very fair and balanced. haha. xo
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MONSTER said May 07, 2009

rk88bulldog .....................YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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MsStizzle said May 08, 2009

Like the old saying goes, you reap what you sow!
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rk88bulldog said May 08, 2009

OT: take the WOMENS HOOP KNOWLEDGE (High School to Pro) quiz in the College basketball section. It is pretty hard, but an avid women's hoop fan should do fine.

I was not attacking Ms Anderson in my last post, I was just trying to make a point. I am a LadyVOL fan, but I always enjoyed watching her play for Vandy. Even with her many accomplishments, I still feel like she doesn't get the credit that she deserves.
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nidelup said May 09, 2009

So here is Chantell discussing and condemning the sexual behavior of male athletes. The same Chantelle who is infuriated at any discussion of the sexual behavior of female athletes. An example of the hypocrisy was found on 3.30.09, when she wrote her objection to discussing the WNBA players sex lives: " It would be nice if people paid attention to the game and not what we do or do not do in our bedrooms." Then on 3.26.09, she wrote: "I just wish people would pay more attention to the good things we represent and less to what we are or are not doing in our bedrooms." Yet here she writes a lengthy analysis of what male players do in their bedrooms. The hypocrisy is overwhelming. She insists that all discussion of female athletes should be limited to what they do on the court, and not in the bedroom, but feels free to discuss the sexual behavior of male athletes. The more you insist on discussing male athletes solely in terms of their sexual behavior, and the more you insist on condemning/criticizing them for their sexual behavior, the more you undercut your objection to treating female athletes the same way.

I mean I hear there are some pretty good male athletes out there, Kobe, Lebron, etc., but you don't seem to have any interest in discussing them. No, when it comes to male athletes, your only interest seems to be in what they do in their bedrooms and how you can insult them, berate them, get all the male bashers here to join in about the terrible things male athletes are doing sexually. Yet you object to any discuss of what female athletes do in their bedrooms. How about limiting your discussion of male athletes to the same parameters you insist upon for female athletes?
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- Chantelle7 replied May 10, 2009
  
  i like to write about things that people don't think about on a regular basis. that is why i don't write about lebron's amazing game last night or kobe's place on the all-time scoring list. there's enough people to write about those that will not write about the topics i choose. so if you don't like my topics, don't read my blog. that said, usually when people discuss male athletes they talk about their performance. more often, when people talk about female athletes, the discussion includes physical and/or sexual characteristics, many times more than her on the court performance. it's the double standard that i don't appreciate. male athletes are glorified for their sexual exploits, if those exploits are even mentioned at all, while female athletes are condemned for theirs, which people insist on talking about. it is true that i wish people would pay more attention to what we do on the court and in the community, rather than in our bedrooms. but they don't. and if people are going to call us out about our "behavior", then i'm going to call attention to other behavior that should be looked upon in the same light. call it hypocrisy if you want, but i'm looking at it from a point of gender equity. and last, i'm not judging these men for wanting to sleep with numerous beautiful women. not at all. however i am saying that they need to practice safe sex, and that i will never feel sorry for them when they get caught up because of their chosen behavior. it's called consequences, and we all have to deal with them.
  - nidelup replied May 11, 2009
    
    Do you have any idea of what a double standard is? "It's the double standard that I don't appreciate." If you don't appreciate double standards, how can you justify engaging in it yourself by opposing any discussion of the sexual behavior of female athletes, while at the same time feeling perfectly free to discuss and condemn the sexual behavior of male athletes. That is a double standard. "...if people are going to call us out about our "behavior", then I'm going to call attention to other behavior..." So you are saying that you believe that both sexes should be treated alike? Then you can't object to discussing the sexual behavior of women athletes as long as you're discussing the sexual behavior of male athletes. Right? I mean that would be "gender equity" wouldn't it? And speaking of gender equity, why is it you condemn men for practicing safe sex but not women? "they need to practice safe sex," yes just like all the women who are infected with AIDS should have practiced safe sex as well. When you learn of a woman who has HIV, is your response: "I will never feel sorry for them when they get caught up because of their chosen behavior. It's called consequences, and we all have to deal with them."? Do you have any sympathy that we're not all as perfect as you and we make mistakes? When you hear of a girl who had to drop out of school and lose a potentially promising career because of pregnancy, is your response: "...they need to practice safe sex, and I will never feel sorry for them when they get caught up because of their chosen behavior. it's called consequences, and we all have to deal with them."? Do you condemn them the same way you condemn the men, since you're an advocate of gender equity? I wonder what are the "consequences" of hatred? Will you and your band of gleeful man haters and male bashers some day face judgement? What are the "consequences" of putting out more hatred in the world?
    - Windy12 replied May 11, 2009
      
      Surely though it is the subject of the piece which should be discussed?? Do we have to widen every discussion to be PC? Like another lady says up above you reap what you sow. If you use a worm lure you get fish which like worms, if a man or woman uses money to attract women/men then they run the risk of having a partner who ius more attracted to money then them, if the money goes they may go, if the celeb status goes they may go etc etc.
      
      Also anyone can get trapped, but in these examples is it not their own fault?
      
      How can we as men understand how a woman thinks if we just attack their conversation?
      
      Who is condemning anything anywhere? Only in your thoughts, it is a discussion, like some men have discussions about a woman's ass on here.
    - Chantelle7 replied May 11, 2009
      
      i have chosen to discuss the sexual behavior of some male athletes because clearly it's acceptable, since people discuss that part of female athletes lives all the time. funny how no one gets mad at people calling us female athletes "dykes" but as soon as someone starts calling male athletes "ho's" (even if i was talking about all of them, which i'm not) then people like you get offended. how about you stop getting offended and take what i'm saying for exactly what it is: a good point that applies to a certain percentage of men. and yes, when women get caught up in situations like you mentioned my response is the same. we all get stuck in bad situations and sometimes it sucks. but we all have to deal with the consequences. we all make mistakes and accidents happen. i never wish for bad things to happen to anyone, nor am i happy when they do. but i'm also not going to feel bad for people that consistently (key word: consistently) put themselves at risk for those things to happen, whether they are men or women. i'm not spreading hate. i'm talking about social responsibility and personal accountability.
    - pilight replied May 12, 2009
      
      She's treating male athletes the way most men treat female athletes. I'm unsurprised that you don't like her exposing the double standard that has already existed for a long, long time. I hope you're as zealous when the shoe is back on the other foot.
    - Yuri28 replied May 14, 2009
      
      Come on man, just give up. Ur obviously arguing a moot point. I feel you on the double standard thing, but you really are missing the point of the arguement.
MONSTER said May 10, 2009

^ NICE..........NOTICE NOBODY SAID ANYTHING AFTER THAT
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sambot said May 10, 2009

chantelle, i'm awfully pleased to see someone intelligent and poised stirring the pot a bit. i saw a lot of the same from the music industry, albeit a bit worse sometimes. keep it up.
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- nidelup replied May 11, 2009
  
  Usually people expressing hatred for an entire group are not praised for "stirring the pot" and being poised and intelligent. Usually they're condemned for bigotry. But yeah I'm sure Chantelle will be more than happy to hear more male bashing stories about men in the music industry, or any industry.
  - sambot replied May 11, 2009
    
    it's not all men. it's just certain men. heh heh.
  - Chantelle7 replied May 11, 2009
    
    i have NEVER expressed hatred toward an entire group. i don't agree with certain behaviors and that's what i'm discussing. the men that don't fit into the group i'm discussing are not the ones i'm talking about.
    - sambot replied May 11, 2009
      
      exactly!
    - Luuuc_ replied May 12, 2009
      
      ^ Judging by the majority of the responses to this blog, as well as your previous blogs, that is pretty clear. Comprehension is clearly not nidelup's strongest attribute. Someone is feeling a little insecure I think ;)
    - nidelup replied May 13, 2009
      
      So if you "don't agree with certain behaviors" you should feel free to discuss it? Okay. But then you can't object to others exercising the same right to discuss behaviors they don't agree with can you? "I have chosen to discuss the sexual behavior of some male athletes..." Fine, that means you have no right to object to anyone else choosing to discuss the sexual behavior of some female athletes. You forfeit your right to object to discussion of the sexual behavior of female athletes when you "choose" to discuss the sexual behavior of male athletes.
    - sambot replied May 13, 2009
      
      nidelup, that is the most baffling counterargument i've ever read.
- nidelup replied May 20, 2009
  
  Tell me what you find "baffling" about it and I'll be glad to respond. Basically I referred to the hypocrisy of Chantelle's strong objections to any discussion of the sex lives of female athletes, while at the same time feeling perfectly free to discuss the sex lives of male athletes.
Windy12 said May 11, 2009

I agree Chantelle they should practice safe sex, even if it is just to stop the wrong genes multiplying!!
Men like a woman who looks like she would be ok in a porn movie or sexy film to be that way no matter what their personality, a woman who looks a bit mumsy even if she enjoys blow jobbing the entire football team at the weekend will go under their radar. Women who look as if they should belong in a porn move (in their eyes) but fight back at men are either hypocrits or lesbians!! Nice simple rules.
I have dated very hot, I mean outrageously hot 'normal looking' women and no-one notices them, then regular church and squeeky clean models and they are the ones who are considerd slutty!! Really weird. The women with dresses below their knees and tight collars with flat bums are the steamy girls behind the scenes not the 'everything on display' centre stage girls, some men never learn.
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jasminefaronbi said May 11, 2009

i jus started thiz yb thng and yur blogs r definetly da mos interesting....i agree dat u get wat u advertise 4, of course a gold diggr women will sleep wit a rich athlete... dats their jus ther natur if da athletes dnt want 2 get trap thn put on a cap
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- Luuuc_ replied May 12, 2009
  
  Yeh Chatnelle iz dropin sum madd sceince up 'n dis hear blogz. Itz mos def da truth about gettin wot u avertize 4, bcoz jus yeserday a dictonary aks me on a date.
EazyEagleZ said May 12, 2009

All the money these guys have and they can't buy a condom? They could'nt get one of the members of their entourage to carry or buy some. Unprotected sex with anyone is no joke, but unprotected sex with strangers and groopies can get you killed.
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RedSeattle said May 18, 2009

i really like your blogs, you keep it sooooo real. This blogg was very on point like a steak knife and so true. You get what you paid for.
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Max4224 said May 20, 2009

Interesting, Chantelle. As a former athlete who, in my earlier years, was also around a lot of male athletes - both in college and later professionally - I can relate to your position. The most astounding thing a pro basketball player ever told me was, "C'mon, we'd make amazing babies together." Ummm ... woah. That was very enlightening. It made me realize that, at least for a certain percentage of these guys, getting a woman pregnant has practically become a PICKUP LINE? At the very least, these guys (how many are there?) don't think making babies is a negative consequence of their actions.
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- nidelup replied May 23, 2009
  
  If there are babies being made, it usually takes two people, as far as I know. That means there must be women who "don't think making babies is a negative consequence of their actions." I don't know if this will be "astounding" to you but I have actually heard women say things like "I'd like to have his babies." or, "We'd make beautiful babies together." Not as a "pickup" line, but as a reference to the attractiveness of a man. It never occurred to me that they meant they literally wanted to have baby with the male in question. But you actually think a man who says same actually wants to make a woman pregnant? Well, okay. But anyway, the fact that you say you found it "astounding" would seem to indicate that it was an unusual thing to hear, which means there is no basis for you to say "these guys" if in fact it was only 1 guy. So when you say "that was very enlightening" what do you mean? Because one male athlete mentioned babies in a pick up line, that "enlightened" you to the fact that "for a certain percentage" that has become a pick up line? Well, what is the percentage "of these guys" who use that line, 1%? What is the percentage of women who mention how much they would love to have children, and how many children they would like, and how they already have their names picked out? Do you also find that "astounding" ? Forgive the interruption, now you can get back to condemning the sexual behavior of male athletes.

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